Sunday, April 19, 2009

Planned by God

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29: 11
I'm a planner. I may not always be very organized, but I do like to plan things. I enjoy carefully thinking out our future. I had plans to go to college and become a nurse. Check. I had plans to get married soon after college. Check. I had plans to start a family a few years into our marriage. Check. I have plans for our house, plans for future birthday parties, plans for having friends over. Sometimes my original plans change and things take a different course. I often get so busy in my own planning that I forget that God also has a plan for my life, just as He does for everyone. Though I'm not privi to His plan and all its many details, I have to trust that it is good and perfect for me.

When we started trying for a baby, I didn't know what to expect. But I did think we would get pregnant fairly easily. Well 9 months and 2 rounds of Clomid later, Brad and I got the most wonderful news we could imagine - I was pregnant! Nearly 8 months and lots of discomfort later we welcomed the most perfect 7lb and 9 oz of baby boy I could imagine. Life was good! Things didn't go exactly as planned as far as my timing of becoming parents, but it was God's PERFECT timing. If I had gotten pregnant right away, we wouldn't have my beautiful Will. God is AWESOME! How could I imagine life any better than to be the mommy of this sweet boy? He captures my heart every day and every day I love him more.

He has grown into such a fun little boy. He is walking everywhere and saying Mama, Dada and uh-oh regularly. He smiles and giggles often. He loves to throw ball and shrieks with excitement when he sees the dogs or his Daddy. I was planning to just enjoy him for awhile. Just soak up his baby/toddlerhood and teach him lots of things. God had some bigger plans in store. Plans to make him a big brother!

And MUCH sooner than we planned. But who am I to question God? I have to admit, when I saw this:
And this:

And this:

I was pretty shocked. Brad was stunned. (3 positive pregnancy tests later we finally believed it). How did we go from trying for months and taking Clomid to a surprise pregnancy? That was not in our plans! But it was in God's plans and has been since the beginning. God is giving us an awesome gift: another child! How blessed are we? Some couples struggle for years before becoming parents. Some are never able to have their own. And God chose to give us another baby. God has given me something else, too. PEACE.

Because we weren't trying for a baby and I just happened to take a test, I wasn't sure how far along I was. I wanted to go to the doctor a few weeks after finding out but I couldn't get an appointment until a month later unless I came the week I found out. I figured I was probably 6 weeks along. We did an ultrasound and we didn't see anything. At first I was calm, but after I had a chance to soak in what the doctor said (probably just early, but possibly a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy), I became very upset. Then God gave me Peace. I felt that whatever happened, no matter what, God was in control and everything would be fine.

They drew my blood Friday to check my hormone levels and I went back in Monday for a recheck to compare. Your hcg levels should double every 48-72 hours). At Monday's appointment he told me my hcg was 631 Friday, which my doctor was very happy with. It has to be at least 2500 to see anything on ultrasound, which meant we were too early to see anything Friday. The nurse was supposed to call me Tuesday after lunch to let me know what Monday's numbers were. I felt at peace all day. When my phone rang around 1:30 I ran into the break room, anxious to hear what my hcg was. We were hoping for 1200.

The nurse broke the news to me "It was less than one."

"Less than one?" I repeated, not believing what I was hearing.

"Less than one, sweety. That's a negative result."

My heart sank. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "So that means I'll miscarry? Can that be right? Can it really drop that fast? It was 631 on Friday and I had another positive test yesterday before my appointment." Through sobs, I offered to come and do another blood draw.

She confirmed that because levels double so quickly, they could drop just as quickly. She denied my request to repeat the test. My worst nightmare seemed to be coming true. I barely knew this baby. 10 days before I didn't think I wanted another baby right now, but then once I found out that he or she was coming, I wanted nothing more than to have this baby. I started begging God not to let me lose this baby. I was hysterical, begging Him to not let this be true. Then God restored the peace I had felt before. He told me everything would be OK. I told Him that no matter what, I trusted Him and I loved Him. I told Him I desperately wanted to keep my baby, but if that was not His plan, I was ok with it. With peace came clarity that hcg has to be at least 25 to make a home pregnancy test turn positive. Something was amiss.

The nurse called back at 5:30. She had spoken with my doctor and they wanted me to repeat the test the next day. Since I had to be at work at 5:45 the next morning, I decided to get it done at the hospital where I work. I told a friend in the lab what was going on. She drew my blood and told me they had to send it to the bigger hospital 15 minutes away, since our lab didn't process that particular test. Hope welled up inside of me. I tried to surpress it and brace myself for bad news, but I just couldn't help but be optimistic that my numbers would be great! My lab friend called me at 11:30. My hcg was 4,506!! I was the victim of a lab error! My baby was ok!

My nurse had told me to call at 1:00 to get the results. I called but she was at lunch. When she called me at 2:20, she still didn't have the results, so I told her what the lab lady had told me. She said "Wow! We'll take that!". She put me on hold and spoke with my doctor, who was 'very happy with that number' and wanted to me to come back on April 13th for a second ultrasound. The nurse and I discussed the probability that someone else had gotten my positive results the day I got their negative ones. Though there was no way to track the lady down and correct the error, the nurse did say she would speak to the lab manager about the issue. What a whirlwind!

We returned April 13th for the ultrasound. I was so nervous. I asked God to restore the peace he had shown me in the weeks before. I also asked that my blood pressure be normal this visit because the past 2 visits it was slightly elevated and I didn't want my doctor to worry. I was able to immediately relax. My blood pressure ended up being great and the only thing that bothered me was that I needed to use the bathroom (they want your bladder full to help position your uterus better in early ultrasounds). They finally called me back to the ultrasound room and we saw the most wonderful thing:

Our baby perfect and whole with an obvious flicker of a heartbeat at 148 beats per minute. This little one is due December 1st, but I'm betting he or she will be here mid to late November.

God indeed has big plans for this little one!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Picture for Stellan

I've been following MckMama's blog for awhile now and I frequently check up on her wee babe Stellan who has been in the hospital for nearly a month with a serious heart dysrythmia. Before he was born, he had the same condition and people started sending pictures of his name at places around the world. Since he's been sick this time, she reopened his name gallery and is inviting more pictures. I've been wanting to send one for awhile but was waiting for the right inspiration. This weekend I snapped this photo of Will and edited it tonight to send to them. I got Photoshop Elements for my birthday and have been trying to learn how to use it. I finally got this layers thing sort of figured out!

For updates on Stellan, go to .

What the?

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Happy Easter to us! We're thinking the Easter Bunny must have just hopped too hard on our patio table. When we got home from church, the tabletop had shattered into a million pieces. We are THRILLED.

More Party Pics

Being sweet with Sadie

Sadie patting his bottom

My sweet family

Will and his Nana and Pop
Will's Gigi and Poppy (Brad's parents) gave Will this awesome wagon. It has a uv protective canopy, cupholders, a cooler bag and two seats with seat belts. He loves it! We take him for rides up and down the street and he sits in the very bottom and peeks out. Sadie took a ride with him and kept patting him on the bottom. It was so cute!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Party Time!

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Happy Birthday Will!

One year ago...

And Today: (4/10/09)
The first look at the birthday boy. We were singing "Happy Birthday" to him
He was so happy all day until I decided to take pictures.

I love him even if he is a cranky pants sometimes.

Last Day as an 11 Month Old

Check out those curls!
He's watching Daddy play with the dogs
He has 8 teeth now!

And the drooling makes me think more are coming soon!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Gift of Medicine

Will got a gift early - bronchitis! I wish we could send it back, but alas we cannot. He has been coughing since Tuesday and it has gotten worse since then. He scared me Tuesday night by wheezing some and retracting a little, but that got better quickly. He's been in very good spirits and I thought all he needed was some cough medicine, so I called the nurse to see what to give him (I'm pretty much dumb when it comes to my own child, I seem to forget everything I've learned through the years). Of course she waited to call me back while I was in the shower (2 calls, actually!). They wanted me to bring him in to get checked out because of the wheezing and retractions, even though those symptoms had resolved.
Our regular doctor was out of town but we got to see a new one and I loved her! She was really great. We also found out that he has excema! I had noticed some rash-like places that popped up on his back and though he's probably had a few before, he's never had this many. So we left there with another nebulizer and our prescriptions. We had a machine in November when he had RSV but I took it back because I thought we were done with it. The doctor told me he could have these symptoms with any cold for up to a year after having RSV. Had I known that, I would have kept the first machine. We are just going to purchase this one and have it on hand for any future needs. I came home and gave him a treatment. He has not developed any more love for it than he had 5 months ago. And he's stronger now, so that was just tons of fun! If you had heard him, you would have thought I was torturing the poor guy!
We ran some errands after that and left Target with SEVEN (7!!!) medicines. I have to brag though - he was a complete angel all day (minus the neb treatment). I had him up for 5 hours between the doctor visit and running errands. He sacked out on the way home and is sleeping now. Hopefully we will get him better in time for the birthday party Saturday! I'll post a pic later of his last day as an 11 month old. I can't believe my BABY will be one tomorrow! :(

Sunday, April 5, 2009

One year ago

The last preggo side view pic we have

My view looking down on Easter Sunday

My horrendous feet and "cankles" according to my sweet Dr.

The hammock - the last big baby item

One year ago this week I was as big as a house. At least I felt that way, and my feet were surely that way. Actually I couldn't see my feet unless they were propped up on the couch but they were sore and uncomfortable to say the least. A year ago I couldn't sleep through the night because I was getting up at least twice to go to the bathroom and I had a bad case of restless legs syndrome. Brad threatened divorce (joking of course) at least twice over my jerky legs. I even tried the old wives tale of a bar of soap under the sheets to get them to stop (didn't work). My belly would jerk rhythmically every day for several minutes while Will had the hiccups. I waddled. I got short of breath. I couldn't eat much before becoming full. I couldn't breathe deeply because of a baby booty in my ribs. A year ago I couldn't wait to meet my sweet baby boy, but I had no idea it would be so soon! We got our last big baby item - a hammock on Monday, found out I was 4cm dilated on Tuesday, turned in my FMLA papers Wednesday and went to the hospital Wednesday night. Sweet Will was born Thursday, 3 weeks ahead of schedule! I just can't believe it has been a year already! And I would do it all over again to be able to have my wonderful boy.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


I finally got to spend some time with my boy this morning

There's nothing cuter to me than a diaper-fluffy baby bottom
Will likes to take a break and lie down on the floor from time to time.

Hold the phone! Guess who started doing this just this morning.

He likes to make the noise "Mwa-mwa" and blow bubbles

He loves to get all his toys down at one time

Then if he can get to the computer, he abandons all toys and starts pressing the keys. He can pop a key off in about 2 seconds.

I'm not sure what this means, but he often puts a hand up in the air and makes a 'Sss' or 'Ssth" sound.
One of his other favorite things to do is rearrange the dvds, which is extra fun now that we have a new tv console with cabinet doors. He can have the whole living room destroyed in about 30 minutes.

Check out my other pages

Here are the other pages I've made. Excuse the one that says "Birth Day" and is actually about me and Brad. Once you name the page, you can't change it.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Almost Famous!

I decided to do some digital scrapbooking to document Will's first year and I finished most of my pages last week just in time to catch a 20% off sale. The site contacted me and asked if they could post some of my pages to their gallery. They ended up using 3 of my pages! They'll only be up for a week, but I think its pretty neat! I guess they deleted the text from the Nature one and the Daddy page, so maybe they don't like my writing style? They aren't together, so you need to scroll through all of them to find ours.