To my Reed, on your first birthday:
A year ago you surprised us when you decided to be born on a Friday afternoon. Labor started out pretty mildly that morning and we weren't sure if today was "the day". After spending a week in the hospital on moderate bedrest and worrying about every little thing, I was pretty numb to things going on. I really didn't think you would come that day until labor intensified by 11:00. I decided two things: I wanted your daddy there and I wanted an epidural.
I spent a good deal of the pregnancy with you worrying. At first we were worried we would miscarry, so I didn't let myself get attached. Then other worries came. How would we afford this? How would we manage our time with two full time jobs and a busy toddler? How would we love another baby as much as we loved Will? I spent so much time worrying that I missed out on bonding time with you. And that last week in the hospital, I was worried about how healthy you would be when you were born. Looking back, I think I didn't want to get too attached in case something went wrong. The first moment I laid eyes on you was sheer delight for me:
Our first minutes with you were brief. I got to hold you and introduce you to family, but I knew any second they would want to take you to the NICU, so I didn't let myself get too attached. After I rested and got cleaned up and had dinner with daddy, we came to visit you in the NICU.
The moment I saw you in your incubator, so tiny and sweet, tears started pouring from my eyes. You were so beautiful!
The nurse let me hold you. And then I couldn't help myself. I got attached.
And now a year later, I can't let you go. You are a momma's boy and it tickles me. I am usually the one who puts you to bed at night. Not because daddy is unwilling, but because I want just one more cuddle. I am attached. I worried that I wouldn't have enough love for you and now that thought seems ridiculous! I am so proud to have you as my second son and as a brother for Will. A year ago I couldn't imagine how you would fit into our perfect family of three and now life seems like it would be imcomplete without you. You have taught me so much about faith and love and family over the past year. I am excited to see what the next year brings!
Happy birthday, my sweet Reed!