Tuesday, October 20, 2009

3 Days Old

My dad, "Pop," came to visit and held Reed for the first time.

Reed looks so tiny in his Pop's hands

I left him for a bit and came back to find this. So I fixed it and a little while later he had pulled it down again! Little stinker won't leave his hat alone.
This cracks me up. It looks like he wants to punch me for taking so many pictures. (Don't worry, I never use flash thanks to my fancy lens Brad got me)
This is by far my favorite picture. He looks so chubby! It melts my heart.

My little Reed was 3 days old on Monday. He dropped down to 5lb, 5oz, which is totally normal for any newborn. His Dr. thinks the weight loss will slow down now. He had 2 apnea spells and again required stimulation to come out of them. Every day that he has one keeps us in the hospital another day. My milk came in and he and I are both very happy about that! He is eating so well. It really is amazing.

I left the hospital in the afternoon and did not plan to come back until this morning. I got teary eyed during the process of leaving. It was so hard to put him back in the incubator before I left knowing I would be away from him for about 16 hours. I kept looking at the clock thinking 'One more minute and I'll put him in and leave.' Then once that minute passed, I would say to myself 'One more minute...' Brad wasn't home when Will and I came home. When I got to the house, all the emotions started pouring out of me. I felt like I had a huge hole in the middle of my heart. I was so happy to be home with Will and have some normalcy after 10 days in the hospital. But it felt so incomplete for Reed not to be here. Poor Brad is being so patient with me. He walked in the door and I just sobbed and sobbed. I missed my baby so much. Then I had the task of pumping for him and when I had trouble with that, I called his NICU nurse seeking advice and sobbed on the phone with her. I was exhausted but very tempted to drive to see him. I somehow made it to this morning and was elated to be with him! It is just not natural to be separated from your child! One thought that helped me get through was that some parents don't ever get the chance to bring their baby home. My baby is ok. He is 10 miles from me in a state of the art NICU with wonderful nurses and he is being constantly watched. If he stops breathing, they know it instantly and are at his side. He will come home. Not soon enough for me, but he will come home! This is not going to be fun or easy, but we can do it. Reed means 'red haired' and Matthew means 'gift of God'. He truly is a gift. One we weren't asking for at the time and one we weren't expecting so early. We are so thankful for our beautiful gift and can't wait for him to be fully ours!

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