A Father's Love

A few years ago when I started feeling the tick-tocking of my biological clock, my husband could not have been more unaware of his. I have always been slightly obsessed with babies and loved to babysit or go see the babies in the church nursery or peek at them in the hospital nursery window when we were visiting someone. I even played with babydolls until I was 12 or 13. I have always known I wanted a few children of my very own. Brad, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. He hadn't been around many of the pink, crying, needy things and didn't really know how this would fit into our lives. But from the minute I told him I was pregnant to the first time he laid eyes on both of our boys, he was hooked. Totally in love, totally smitten. And it totally tickles me.

This is Will giving Brad a 'hug' which means Will leans in and Brad kisses his cheek.

Brad and Will both love this even though Brad knows he will likely end being beaten on the head.

I love seeing our tiny baby in his daddy's hands

Melt my heart. Probably one of my favorite pictures ever.

Seeing my husband with our children is so precious to me. These blessings that we could not have imagined a couple of years ago are so perfect, so precious. Not every day is perfect and we as parents often disappoint ourselves at how impatient we can be, but our children are perfect gifts from our Heavenly Father. I just look at them and I love them so much, then I think about how HUGE God's love is and how PERFECT it is and how His patience is something we could never begin to comprehend. It is so neat to think how the love He has for us is a thousand fold of what we can even begin to imagine. And on days when I get frustrated because Will took off his shoes and threw them for the hundreth time in an hour, I think about how God could get so frustrated with me because I sinned for the millionth time when I know better. But He doesn't get mad or frustrated. He just continues to love and pour out His perfect grace and forgiveness and blessings all over us. We don't deserve it. Not a single one of us do. How awesome is our God for loving us so? Why can't we be more like Him?

One of my favorite songs these days is this one from David Crowder Band. It has helped me through many days lately. When I was in the hospital and it looked so dreary outside and I was tired of being stuck in the hospital and tired of not putting Will to bed and just tired of the situation, I played this song. When I had contractions that were so intense and the anesthesiologist was with another patient and I just had to wait, I had this song playing in my head. And now that I sit in the NICU holding my baby, just waiting and hoping and praying for the day that he comes home, I play this song. It elicits both tears and smiles for me. Hope you enjoy.